hafoc | (no subject)

I get called for jury duty. A lot.

In my latest attempt to get myself excused, I informed the judge that the FAQ for jurors says we're selected by random numbers generated by a computer program. I told the judge that this is impossible. Computer programs can't generate random numbers. Instead, they fake it using algorithms called pseudo-random number generators.

I told him that I had been called so often I was pretty sure the pseudo-random number generator picking us wasn't working properly. I pointed out that if the law requires random choices, pseudo-random numbers don't meet the requirement. I said that poor pseudo-random number generators repeat themselves, may cluster their values, may, in short, behave in very non-random ways indeed.

All of this is perfectly true. I've got the references I used sitting on my desk as I type this. I can prove this.

But we know what the real problem is, don't we, Quel? Don't we, Athe? Raven, or Papa Coyote, or the Unknown Powers-- whatever you wish to call the Living Spirit of Irony and Practical Jokes, the greatest power in the world.. YOU are messing with my mind again. You are reminding me you're there. Well, I know you're there. I see you every single day. I think maybe that's why you pay so much attention to me; I'm in on the joke, even as I groan about it. And your power is NOT AT ALL LESSENED when it's the computer world we're talking about. Oh, no. Anybody who uses computers knows you reign supreme in that world.

Nevertheless.. the judge read the letter and wrote back. "You may have provided me with an answer to an issue that I've wondered about for some time." I'm excused for the year.

That's great. Since I don't really mind going at all-- it's just the terrible sense that something was wrong with the selection process that bugged me, not going, getting questioned, and promptly being sent home by the defense attorneys when they find out I make my living enforcing regulations-- since I don't mind going, getting a deferral for the rest of the year is all I could ask for.

What's really scary is there's a chance, perhaps one in a million, that I might have just kicked the props out from under the current jury selection process for the entire state.

Thank you, Papa Coyote. Oh, this is just too much fun.