spit take

I was driving home today and, as I always do, I drove past a certain auto body shop. It's run by a Jesus person, probably a Baptist-- you can tell by the church flag he flies. Most of it is white. The "union" (which is the top, staff-end corner of a flag) is blue with a red Christian cross in the center.

He actually flies four flags, if I remember correctly; a Christian flag, State of Michigan, United States, and another Christian flag. I don't swear to this, as I never paid much attention to it. Except to note that the flags were there, of course.

This guy's faith is also shown by the little inspirational messages he puts on his sign. "Seven Days Without Prayer Makes One Weak," "CH__CH. What's missing? UR!" That kind of thing.

He also puts out nondenominational motivational messages from time to time. But the one he had today caused me to perform a spit take as I drove past.

"The best vitamin for developing friends is BI."

Bi? Well, true, bisexual people probably have more different varities of friends than others. I wouldn't say MORE friends. And wait a minute, isn't this a bit risque' for somebody who flies Christian flags, TWO of them? I mean--

Then it hit me. It wasn't BI. What he really said was "The best vitamin for developing friends is bee-one."

Such a filthy mind I have. But you know what? I like my version better.

The Disadvantage of Thinking Too Much

Tephie showed me this IQ test, so...

Your IQ Is 140

Your Logical Intelligence is Genius Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Genius

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

But I had to cheat. Here's why.

One of the questions is: "Which of these countries was not part of the Allies in World War II? Russia, France, Italy, China."

The obvious answer is Italy. But this is not strictly correct. Italy was one of the Axis powers, but after Bennie the Moose got strung up what was left of Italy joined the Allied side. So Italy was one of the Axis powers, AND one of the Allied powers.

The correct answer, as the question is phrased, is Russia. Russia wasn't one of the Allies in World War II. THE SOVIET UNION was one of the Allies in World War II.

But of course-- the answer the test-writer wanted was Italy. So I was marked wrong.

Well, I'm not wrong. The test writer is. :D