This and That
Jul. 3rd, 2004 10:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hafoc
Backhoed!
On Thursday our long distance service, cell phone service, and Internet all went out. We'd been hit by the Legendary Computer Backhoe-- we had a major fiber-optic break. Cut off everything for the northern part of the lower peninsula.
Only backhoes aren't good enough for us, no, noooooooo. We had to have our cable cut by a frickin' BEAVER.
"There's a wetland at the head of the Muskegon River, near Houghton Lake," the Verizon guy said. "And since it was a wetland, we didn't bury our cable there. We just laid it across the bottom. Now, the DNR lowered the water level in the wetland--"
Sure, sure, find some way to blame your goof on the state!
"--and so part of the cable was exposed. A beaver saw it. He thought it was a stick. He was building a new home, and he wanted sticks, so he chewed through it."
I think it's remarkable that Verizon is able to communicate so well with beavers. To determine their wants, their needs, their goals in life, their motivations. /sarcasm=off
On the other hand, Mr. Verizon's story is more likely than that the beaver chewed the cable because he wanted to deliberately cheese off sixty thousand humans, so I guess I shouldn't complain.
Politics
I have to vote in the Republican primary on August 3d, because it will be my only chance to vote for the local offices; sheriff, prosecutor, and so on. The Democrats don't run any candidates around here, so the Republican primary IS the election.
Which means I will have four choices for Republican candidate for State Representative. (I might as well vote there too because I don't think the Democrats run a candidate there either-- and if they do, it's just for show.)
Contestant Number One: A builder who got himself on the County Commission so he could help decide whether or not to allow his own zoning variances. A man who tried to get me fired because I told his workmen it was illegal to burn construction and demolition debris. A crook and swine, in other words.
Contestant Number Two: A thousand-year-old man who is "pro-gun, pro-life, pro-family, pro-Christian." Meaning anti-religious freedom and anti-gay. My own beliefs lie along maximum freedom, which is why neither the right wing bozos or libleft morons suit me. I'm pro-freedom generally, which means I agree with this guy on the gun thing, but disagree with the others. Besides, he's an idiot. I can't vote for him.
Contestant Number Three: John Ramsay. The name may seem familiar to you; he's Jon-Benet's father. I still suspect he knows what happened to her. Now, if I were on his jury I'd have to vote not guilty, but the ballot box and the jury box are two different things. Besides, I can't trust an Honest Businessman who was calculating enough to move from Colorado to the one district in the nation brain-damaged enough to elect him to public office. I suppose we might as well send criminals to the Legislature-- it's full of them already-- but surely it's unnecessary to import them from Colorado for the purpose!
Contestant Number Four: Some guy I know nothing about. Therefore he's the one I have to vote for. HELL of a situation when that's your only reason for voting for somebody.
Parades
Here it's cop cars, fire engines, marching veterans, a marching band, some floats. Back in my dad's home town, the parade will be all the tractors and combines from all the farms, all shined up, puttering down Main Street. Up in DeTour it will be the National Guard Bridging Unit, led through town by a kilted bagpipe band from Canada, carrying the Stars and Stripes, the Maple Leaf Flag, and the Union Jack.
I remember asking one of them "Isn't it kind of odd for you loyalists to march in our Independence Day Parade?
He shrugged. "Why not? Your National Guard comes up for our Canada Day Parade."
Indeed. Borders are variable things, but We go on forever. God bless Us, upon whichever side of whatever border we may dwell.
On Thursday our long distance service, cell phone service, and Internet all went out. We'd been hit by the Legendary Computer Backhoe-- we had a major fiber-optic break. Cut off everything for the northern part of the lower peninsula.
Only backhoes aren't good enough for us, no, noooooooo. We had to have our cable cut by a frickin' BEAVER.
"There's a wetland at the head of the Muskegon River, near Houghton Lake," the Verizon guy said. "And since it was a wetland, we didn't bury our cable there. We just laid it across the bottom. Now, the DNR lowered the water level in the wetland--"
Sure, sure, find some way to blame your goof on the state!
"--and so part of the cable was exposed. A beaver saw it. He thought it was a stick. He was building a new home, and he wanted sticks, so he chewed through it."
I think it's remarkable that Verizon is able to communicate so well with beavers. To determine their wants, their needs, their goals in life, their motivations. /sarcasm=off
On the other hand, Mr. Verizon's story is more likely than that the beaver chewed the cable because he wanted to deliberately cheese off sixty thousand humans, so I guess I shouldn't complain.
Politics
I have to vote in the Republican primary on August 3d, because it will be my only chance to vote for the local offices; sheriff, prosecutor, and so on. The Democrats don't run any candidates around here, so the Republican primary IS the election.
Which means I will have four choices for Republican candidate for State Representative. (I might as well vote there too because I don't think the Democrats run a candidate there either-- and if they do, it's just for show.)
Contestant Number One: A builder who got himself on the County Commission so he could help decide whether or not to allow his own zoning variances. A man who tried to get me fired because I told his workmen it was illegal to burn construction and demolition debris. A crook and swine, in other words.
Contestant Number Two: A thousand-year-old man who is "pro-gun, pro-life, pro-family, pro-Christian." Meaning anti-religious freedom and anti-gay. My own beliefs lie along maximum freedom, which is why neither the right wing bozos or libleft morons suit me. I'm pro-freedom generally, which means I agree with this guy on the gun thing, but disagree with the others. Besides, he's an idiot. I can't vote for him.
Contestant Number Three: John Ramsay. The name may seem familiar to you; he's Jon-Benet's father. I still suspect he knows what happened to her. Now, if I were on his jury I'd have to vote not guilty, but the ballot box and the jury box are two different things. Besides, I can't trust an Honest Businessman who was calculating enough to move from Colorado to the one district in the nation brain-damaged enough to elect him to public office. I suppose we might as well send criminals to the Legislature-- it's full of them already-- but surely it's unnecessary to import them from Colorado for the purpose!
Contestant Number Four: Some guy I know nothing about. Therefore he's the one I have to vote for. HELL of a situation when that's your only reason for voting for somebody.
Parades
Here it's cop cars, fire engines, marching veterans, a marching band, some floats. Back in my dad's home town, the parade will be all the tractors and combines from all the farms, all shined up, puttering down Main Street. Up in DeTour it will be the National Guard Bridging Unit, led through town by a kilted bagpipe band from Canada, carrying the Stars and Stripes, the Maple Leaf Flag, and the Union Jack.
I remember asking one of them "Isn't it kind of odd for you loyalists to march in our Independence Day Parade?
He shrugged. "Why not? Your National Guard comes up for our Canada Day Parade."
Indeed. Borders are variable things, but We go on forever. God bless Us, upon whichever side of whatever border we may dwell.
