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The Idiot Ball
Aug. 26th, 2011 06:16 pm
Many spoilers!
I saw parts of the Star Trek reboot movie at a great party. Maybe my brain wasn't operating at full efficiency, but I thought "Special effects, pointless explosions-- what's not to like?" So wanting a movie the other day, I got a copy of Star Trek.
Bad move. I can't watch this thing. The stupid, it burns!
You can't even call it the Idiot Plot, because that requires all the characters to be blind about one obvious thing. Here, each person is stupid in their own individual way. Apparently 23rd Century Replicator Technology allows everyone to have their own personalized Idiot Ball.
But what really made me turn the thing off in disgust is the stupidity of the Romulan Captain.
Captain Nero-- let's name the villain Nero, that's subtle!-- blames Original Spock, who is here Future Spock, for the destruction of Romulus, Nero's home planet. Future Spock has been thrown into the past by the accident; Nero follows somehow, Swearing Terrible Revenge. But he overshoots by 23 years.
Now he's 23 years early for his rendezvous with Future Spock and his Terrible Revenge. What's he going to do for 23 years?
One possible course of action would be to go home to Romulus and wait, while relaxing on the beach and enjoying good Romulan home cooking. While he was there he might, say, give the government a clue that the whole bloody planet's gonna go kaboom in 103 years 9 months 3 days 22 hours 3 minutes, maybe they ought to do something about that. And by the way, here's my starship. She's just a tugboat, basically, but her tech is so advanced she can take out any Federation ship, or any combination of them. Think you might be able to do something with that tech?
So Nero sits there on his beach, in luxury, for 23 years. And then when Future Spock arrives he hunts him down and says "I destroyed everything you cared for because of what you did. Here, look at the ruins of your world, near the center of the Now Much Greater Romulan Empire."
That, I would think, would be revenge enough.
Does Nero do that? Does he even check into a cheap motel in some obscure tourist town in Missouri?
No. He does nothing.
He lives aboard a TUGBOAT in deep space, all alone, doing NOTHING.
For TWENTY THREE YEARS.
On second thought, the 23rd Century does NOT give everyone their own individualized Idiot Ball. Nope, there's only one Idiot Ball here. It's being carried by the writers.
I saw parts of the Star Trek reboot movie at a great party. Maybe my brain wasn't operating at full efficiency, but I thought "Special effects, pointless explosions-- what's not to like?" So wanting a movie the other day, I got a copy of Star Trek.
Bad move. I can't watch this thing. The stupid, it burns!
You can't even call it the Idiot Plot, because that requires all the characters to be blind about one obvious thing. Here, each person is stupid in their own individual way. Apparently 23rd Century Replicator Technology allows everyone to have their own personalized Idiot Ball.
But what really made me turn the thing off in disgust is the stupidity of the Romulan Captain.
Captain Nero-- let's name the villain Nero, that's subtle!-- blames Original Spock, who is here Future Spock, for the destruction of Romulus, Nero's home planet. Future Spock has been thrown into the past by the accident; Nero follows somehow, Swearing Terrible Revenge. But he overshoots by 23 years.
Now he's 23 years early for his rendezvous with Future Spock and his Terrible Revenge. What's he going to do for 23 years?
One possible course of action would be to go home to Romulus and wait, while relaxing on the beach and enjoying good Romulan home cooking. While he was there he might, say, give the government a clue that the whole bloody planet's gonna go kaboom in 103 years 9 months 3 days 22 hours 3 minutes, maybe they ought to do something about that. And by the way, here's my starship. She's just a tugboat, basically, but her tech is so advanced she can take out any Federation ship, or any combination of them. Think you might be able to do something with that tech?
So Nero sits there on his beach, in luxury, for 23 years. And then when Future Spock arrives he hunts him down and says "I destroyed everything you cared for because of what you did. Here, look at the ruins of your world, near the center of the Now Much Greater Romulan Empire."
That, I would think, would be revenge enough.
Does Nero do that? Does he even check into a cheap motel in some obscure tourist town in Missouri?
No. He does nothing.
He lives aboard a TUGBOAT in deep space, all alone, doing NOTHING.
For TWENTY THREE YEARS.
On second thought, the 23rd Century does NOT give everyone their own individualized Idiot Ball. Nope, there's only one Idiot Ball here. It's being carried by the writers.
