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Pat Robertson, Man of God
Jan. 15th, 2010 09:13 pm
That great Holy Man, Pat Robertson, has pronounced that God sent an earthquake upon Haiti to punish the Hatians for signing a pact with the Devil in order to win their freedom from their French slavemasters. This must lead us to accept one of two possible sets of beliefs.
Either: Colonialism and slavery were Jesus's plan. Opposing slavery was opposing God. The only way hardened, desperate black slaves with total dedication and nothing to lose could possibly defeat their masters, who were soft and outnumbered six to one but who had the advantage of MUCH whiter skins, was to sign a pact with the Devil. Almighty God was for some reason unable to defeat the Devil and his freedom-seeking minions. He was, however, so angry at the overthrow of slavery that he ordered an earthquake to flatten the place. For some incomprehensible reason-- perhaps there was a screw-up in the mail room or something, I don't know-- the earthquake arrived 206 years after the events it was sent to punish.
OR: Pat Roberson is a damned (and I do mean damned) scoundrel, an idiot, or both. Further, America must have done something truly reprehensible 206 years ago for God to inflict Robertson upon us.
You may believe whichever of these you wish. Personally, I think we should examine our national conscience.
Either: Colonialism and slavery were Jesus's plan. Opposing slavery was opposing God. The only way hardened, desperate black slaves with total dedication and nothing to lose could possibly defeat their masters, who were soft and outnumbered six to one but who had the advantage of MUCH whiter skins, was to sign a pact with the Devil. Almighty God was for some reason unable to defeat the Devil and his freedom-seeking minions. He was, however, so angry at the overthrow of slavery that he ordered an earthquake to flatten the place. For some incomprehensible reason-- perhaps there was a screw-up in the mail room or something, I don't know-- the earthquake arrived 206 years after the events it was sent to punish.
OR: Pat Roberson is a damned (and I do mean damned) scoundrel, an idiot, or both. Further, America must have done something truly reprehensible 206 years ago for God to inflict Robertson upon us.
You may believe whichever of these you wish. Personally, I think we should examine our national conscience.
