Sep. 29th, 2008

hafoc: (Default)
You're not doing too much to make this any easier for me, you know.

What? Well, of course I know I have it good. I got everything I wanted; a place to stay, a job with enough money to pay for it, and a chance to write good stuff. I got everything I wanted, so now what?

I just wish I'd had more imagination when I asked for all that, or that I'd been more specific, or a little less idealistic-- I should have asked for the ability to write POPULAR stuff, not good stuff, for example.

Don't give me that. It's not being cynical if I'm RIGHT.

Still, all in all, I'm glad things turned out the way they did. I'm glad I had a chance to have my little toys, because that taught me that they don't matter. People matter, friends matter, toys are just entertainment.

A lot of people never get toys, go to their graves miserable, and think the lack of toys is why. Others get the toys and are miserable but go to their graves thinking the next toy will make the difference, and the last toy of all is a big, shiny tombstone. I wonder if that makes them proud, wherever they are now. If they're anywhere at all.

That's something I had to learn, I guess, and thanks for the chance. I'm glad I learned it while there was still time to use the knowledge a little bit.

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hafoc

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