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Nov. 20th, 2003 05:52 pm
The Extreme Solution System Paradign Must Die
I don't want a sleep system, I want a mattress. I don't want a writing system, I want a pen. I don't want.. you get the picture. And what's this with "solutions?" Why is "Dunn's Office Solutions" better than "Dunn's Office Supplies?" Sounds impressive as heck, but their paper doesn't work any better than anybody else's.
And if I hear another manager trying to hide his ignorance and stupidity by saying.. (deep breath here)... something about changing the paradigns, I think I will pick up something heavy and beat him over the head with it. I'm not hitting his head out of spite, I'm doing it because it's the place on his anatomy where a blow is least likely to cause any permanent damage.
Then there's "extreme." 'Nuff said.
Arthritis
I already have this in two parts of my body, although in my case the true name of the disease should be Damfoolishness. In the case of my back, the subvariety is the infamous Even if you Can Lift One End of the Piano Up the Stairs One Step at a Time By Yourself, it's Still a Bad Idea Damfoolishness. The left ankle is Check the Deep Snowbank where you Couldn't Possibly Get Hurt for Buried Fallen Trees before Wrestling a Friend In It Damfoolishness.
I thought I'd added another spot somehow, because my right elbow has been giving me hell. Especially whenever I lifted something in my right hand. Strange that gripping something with the fingers of my right hand would cause pain in the elbow, but it did.
It's healing up, though, so I must just have pulled a muscle or something. Good.
I probably did it the other day when I carried forty dollars' worth of groceries into the house, dangling the bag containing them from two fingers of that hand while fishing in my pockets for my keys with the other.
When you think of it, this is a truly breathtaking feat of strength. It goes to show how much stronger I am now than I was when I was a kid. Back then it would take me eight or ten trips from the car to the house to carry forty bucks worth of groceries, and now I can hold it easily in just one hand!
I don't want a sleep system, I want a mattress. I don't want a writing system, I want a pen. I don't want.. you get the picture. And what's this with "solutions?" Why is "Dunn's Office Solutions" better than "Dunn's Office Supplies?" Sounds impressive as heck, but their paper doesn't work any better than anybody else's.
And if I hear another manager trying to hide his ignorance and stupidity by saying.. (deep breath here)... something about changing the paradigns, I think I will pick up something heavy and beat him over the head with it. I'm not hitting his head out of spite, I'm doing it because it's the place on his anatomy where a blow is least likely to cause any permanent damage.
Then there's "extreme." 'Nuff said.
Arthritis
I already have this in two parts of my body, although in my case the true name of the disease should be Damfoolishness. In the case of my back, the subvariety is the infamous Even if you Can Lift One End of the Piano Up the Stairs One Step at a Time By Yourself, it's Still a Bad Idea Damfoolishness. The left ankle is Check the Deep Snowbank where you Couldn't Possibly Get Hurt for Buried Fallen Trees before Wrestling a Friend In It Damfoolishness.
I thought I'd added another spot somehow, because my right elbow has been giving me hell. Especially whenever I lifted something in my right hand. Strange that gripping something with the fingers of my right hand would cause pain in the elbow, but it did.
It's healing up, though, so I must just have pulled a muscle or something. Good.
I probably did it the other day when I carried forty dollars' worth of groceries into the house, dangling the bag containing them from two fingers of that hand while fishing in my pockets for my keys with the other.
When you think of it, this is a truly breathtaking feat of strength. It goes to show how much stronger I am now than I was when I was a kid. Back then it would take me eight or ten trips from the car to the house to carry forty bucks worth of groceries, and now I can hold it easily in just one hand!
